On Collecting

My husband and I are collectors. Of course, that leads me into the old adage: "He collects junk; I collect things of great value." If you asked him, I'm sure the words would be reversed. We are, however, getting to the point where we are doing some serious thinking about looking for a smaller house. Therefore, something's gotta give!

His collections fall into two categories - paper and musical instruments. He seems to have an aversion to naked flat surfaces. Surfaces that have just been cleaned are his particular obsession. Somewhere in his brain is an automatic command that tells him to fill the surface as quickly as possible, preferably with paper. It does not seem to matter what kind of paper, just as long as the flat surface is no longer visible. I have found important notices about our 401K mixed in with renewal notices for fishing magazines, which he doesn't get, and coupons for food we haven't purchased in 35 years.

As for the musical instruments, I hesitate to mention how many there are, but can easily say that a substantial musical group could play all available parts with our collection. We have drums, keyboards, a sax, a violin, a flute, a mandolin, a couple of acoustic guitars, more than a couple of electric guitars, two electric basses, and a didgeridoo. That is not counting the brass section, which is fully stocked.

He has some legitimate claim to the brass instruments, as he plays with three or four different musical organizations on any given week, ranging from a symphony orchestra to a drum and bugle corps. This excuses the collection of trumpets. As you have probably guessed, I see him on alternate Thursdays, when he comes home to spread paper around. As of today, it seems much of the paper is sheet music. We have enough sheet music to wallpaper a small hotel.

My collections are more varied, and, truth be told, probably take up more total space than his. I draw, I paint, and I crochet and do other crafty things, so I have the supplies which I need for current and future projects. Those future projects could extend into early 2057 and I would still not run out of things like colored pencils, sketchbooks, paintbrushes and yarn. I need one of our children to leave and take all belongings with him or her, so I can have a room for my artsy stuff. Chances are I might need slightly more than one room.

I also collect books. Hubby is constantly telling me I should get my library card, but there is one major problem. When you get your reading material from the library, they tend to want it back. I get very attached to my books, and love the bindings, the cover art, the smell of the paper. You will never find this reader in front of an IPad perusing the latest bestseller! I am far better off at Barnes&Noble, Borders, or even the book table at Costco.

Then there are the artworks created by someone other than myself. Of course I have to keep every single piece that either of my children has created. Some have actually been framed and hung up, but most of it is safely tucked away in plastic containers. Nobody I know would fault me for keeping those - they are truly valuable!

I also have some odd but endearing paintings by very distant relatives, that I, frankly, don't know what to do with. A couple of them are by some great uncle or other on my father's side, who lived in Maine, and must have had a special liking for sheep. These are very dark, dingy paintings, mostly of dark, dingy landscapes, but there is always a batch of sheep somewhere in the middle of the composition - you can tell because they are less dingy and sort of fluffy-looking. I might hang them up some day just to watch the reactions on visitors' faces.

Shall we look through the china collection? I have enough china to feed most of the population of Pennsylvania, should they ever want to come to dinner. It does not all match, but is in five or six different patterns, plus an odd flowered cup and saucer or two. I did pick out a nice set when we were first married, and I think I have either eight or twelve settings of that one. Then I have 24 settings plus serving pieces of my Mom's favorite, which I actually added to a number of years ago with a great thrift shop find. It must have slipped my mind that I would eventually be inheriting all of it!

Other sets are smaller (Whew!) and some are more casual, while some are way more elegant and valuable, or at least way more breakable! Then there are the every-day plates, bowls, and mugs, some of which match, and some of which never will. They were discontinued shortly after I got the first few pieces.

This is only the beginning. As you might have imagined by now, our home of 35 years is crammed with goodies. Pottery, gifts from former students, "decorative accessories." I am terrified that some day the host from "Hoarders" is going to call and tell me he has heard of us. No, we're not up to our eyeballs in trash, but it will take all of my mental fortitude and the physical strength of a more than the two of us to get this place "downsized."

I have a piece of advice for anyone who cares to listen. If you do collect something, DO NOT TELL ANYONE! A few years ago I made the mistake of telling a few people I was collecting teddy bears. You can take it from there......