In search of a little light.....

There are really only two kinds of people in the world: those who turn on and leave on every available light in every room they enter, and those who cannot leave a room without switching those same lights off. Inevitably, in any given family of four, two of each characteristic will appear. This is a scientifically proven fact. It is also a scientifically proven fact that every marriage has in it at least one very nasty argument based upon the previous scientifically proven fact.

For instance, my husband came home from work today, while the sun was still up, walked in the front door and did the following:

1. Turned on the switch next to the door that controls the two wall sconce lights over the fireplace mantel. (This is next to a window - see reference to sun being up.)

2. Went to the first available table lamp, and turned it to the highest available illumination level so he could look to see if there were any messages on the answering machine. I must add here that the answering machine has a lighted number, which blinks, telling you if there are any messages. There were not. (This is next to a four-foot by six-foot window - note sun position.)

3. Approached the second table lamp, by the first window, and turned that on in case he wanted to come back and sit in his favorite chair and read. This chair is next to the fireplace. (Note previously mentioned sconces and window placement.)

4. Walked into the dining room and immediately turned on the switch controlling the chandelier over the table, where he might at some point put his laptop to complete some project or other, like the alphabetic filing of the day's "You-Tube" discoveries. This chandelier has five 60 watt bulbs. If you look past the chandelier out the dining room window, you can see that the sun is still approximately where it was 2-1/2 minutes ago when he arrived home.

5. Entered the family room and sat in his favorite location on the sofa, turning on the table lamp beside him. Opening his newspaper, he began to read, primarily by the light coming through the two large windows, side by side, directly behind the sofa.

By now I am sure you can see where this is going. I am the family member who opens the electric bill each month and writes out the check for a ridiculously large sum of money. Therefore, I am the one who regularly wanders through the house turning out lights. He might argue that he is the primary wage-earner in the household, which could, I suppose, give him the right to waste as much electricity as he likes.

I might counter that point with a suggestion that we use the money spent on creating migraine-inducing levels of brightness in our home to do something else, like take an Alaskan cruise. Besides, all of that light serves a dual purpose, creating not only a reading and/or computing atmosphere, but also one in which every speck of dust, fingerprint on a doorway, or smudge on the wall becomes spotlighted. The Alaskan cruise might have to give way to a cleaning service and a professional painter, unless I turn off the lights and leave the flaws in relative darkness.

It strikes me as a little odd that the behavior patterns have switched gender in the next generation. My daughter traces her path through the house by the level of artificial light she leaves behind, while my son has dutifully followed along, turning everything off. She swears she has to sleep in total darkness, yet leaves on the lights in the bathroom, den, and hallway she visits on her way to bed. My son turns everything off, so I can't find the bathroom at 3 in the morning.

Somewhere in all of this there has to be a middle ground, but I have yet to find it. I have also discovered that we who switch things off are also inevitably those who holler, "Could you please turn that down?" or ask, "Do you smell something funny?"

I am sure it is genetic, and just as sure that my daughter's boyfriend is an "off-switcher" and my son's girlfriend loves to have everything lit up. And so it goes...........