At least that part is over with now, and the pain has subsided by quite a bit. Currently I am left with one very large and solid reminder that I broke a highly necessary bone in my right foot: a cast that reaches from the bottom of my toes to just underneath my knee, and is about nine inches in diameter. That kind of thing on a person's leg will draw comments.
It will especially draw comments due to the fact that I am busily decorating it with large numbers of flora and fauna, cartoon-style, and invitations are out to my many artistic friends to add to the design. It will be very bright, highly amusing, and probably a bit bizarre. Sadly, the story of the actual break is downright boring - I got out of bed and tried to walk on a leg that was totally asleep. The foot bent behind me, and the rest is history, painful history.
Once I hit the grocery store, the craft shop, and my health club the numbers of people asking "How did you break your foot?" are going to grow in geometric proportions, and that story just won't do. I have, for the first (and hopefully last) time the option to create the wildest story of all time explaining how my poor foot met its demise. The sky is the limit! In fact, the sky is also a good starting point.....
1. I was tandem skydiving and landed just below my partner so his foot came down on mine and broke it.
2. I was bungee jumping off the George Washington Bridge in New York City and I bounced back up so far that my foot hit the bottom of the inbound traffic lanes just as a tractor-trailer was passing, creating extra weight at the moment I touched.
3. I was visiting my favorite uncle in Florida when I went out to the canal behind his house. As I reached the dock, a mother and baby manatee jumped out of the water to avoid a wayward motorboat. I caught the baby in mid-air, but the mother landed on my foot.
4. I was on a motorcycle, still in Florida, being chased by a mob of angry alligators after I jumped a ramp over their favorite pond. I ran out of gas and one of them bit my foot.
5. I was dressed as a clown for a local charity children's party when I happened to honk my clown-horn at the one parent in the place who was terrified of clowns. She picked up the chair at her carefully and tastefully arranged luncheon table and threw it at me, where it landed on my foot.
6. I was hiking in the northern Rockies when the wind hit a huge redwood, knocking it down. It almost missed me, but the very tip of the trunk landed on my foot.
7. Same hike, same redwood, but this time an abominable snowman who had been hiding behind the tree saw me, saw I had a camera, and smacked my foot with a broken branch just as I was about to take his picture.
8. Same forest, same tree, same yeti, but this time he was being chased by a crew from National Geographic, jumped into my arms for safety, missed, and landed on my foot.
9. At a posh resort hotel near the Canadian border, went out on my balcony and was bombarded by a flock of Canadian Geese headed for their northern home. Fell off the balcony into the hotel pool, and landed untouched except for my foot. It hit the diving board on the way down.
10. I was asked to stand in for a member of Queen Elizabeth's palace guard, and after forty-five minutes of standing at attention holding my rifle, I dozed off. As I did, I loosened my grip on the rifle and it landed on my foot. Fifteen tourists got the photo, and it will be posted on the Internet any time now.
I think ten interesting versions are enough to do the trick. Anyone who wants to ask deserves a good story, and not the "getting out of bed" blather. If they care enough to need to know the horrid details, then I feel I owe them a tale worthy of their concern. Then maybe I'll let them sign the cast.
like the posh resort one! <3 feel better! at least you kept your wonderful humor in tact! Betty White must be proud! <3
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