I just finished reading a fascinating article on teachers who are bullies. It showed how teacher preference or indifference to certain students can cause the same kind of lousy feelings in a student as bullying by a peer. It amazes me that this is seen as a surprising piece of information. I have two children, both of whom were subjected to bullying behaviors, not only from their fellow students, but from teachers, administrators, and even counselors. I am thrilled to see the amount of attention this subject is getting in national press, and sincerely hope that the result will be more schools where a zero-tolerance anti-bullying policy is reality.
I have seen, over and over, institutions whose unwritten policies promote the downgrading and belittling of students who are "different." These differences can take an incredible variety of forms, based purely on the worst part of an administrator's discomfort with students who may be"difficult" to teach. I know of children who have been called insulting names by a teacher, for an entire year. I know of a teacher who, more than once, slapped a female student in the face in front of an entire classroom. The student had disagreed with that teacher on an answer in a test, and had asked for help more often than the teacher saw as necessary.
A young lady in adaptive physical education spent her gym periods in a pool in a district building across the street from her high school. During one of her swim times, one of the gym teachers followed her up and down the pool as she did laps, calling her fat and lazy, and suggesting that the rest of her family was probably fat and lazy, too. She left the pool, got dressed in the locker room, and called home to tell her mother to "pick me up before I hurt somebody." For some reason the administration was never informed that she left school two hours early that day. I am not at all surprised.
I know of situations where special education students were called stupid by their teacher, where students who were seriously learning disabled were told by their counselor that they could probably get straight "A's" if they would just work harder. This was in the middle of a school-sponsored support group for students who felt they were being bullied because of their inabilities in standard classrooms..
I guess the answer to this insanity is more education, not only for the students, but also for the teachers and administrators. I spent a number of years as an actor/therapist, working with school districts where dysfunctional behavior was out of control, and where the student suicide rates were up. When students in these sessions were asked who their favorite person in the school was to talk to when they felt like they needed some support, the answer was almost universally the school custodian. Why are the janitors so popular? They don't judge; they just listen.
The ultimate answer to bullying is to educate all individuals on the sanctity and innate importance of every human life. People certainly don't have to like everyone else on the planet, but they do have to respect their rights to exist in peace and dignity. Too many of us learn to discriminate, judge, and even bully others from a very early age. It needs to stop.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Now what?
OK, it's official. I have retired. Permanently. I know full well I said the same thing last January, and then went back and taught four more terms. Well now I'm done. I was lucky enough to have a spectacular group of very smart and motivated students for my final class, so that made it easier, and harder. Ambivalence is coursing through my veins.
Yes, I will miss my students terribly, but there are some very good reasons for me to separate from my place of employment for the last 16 years, for instance:
The school has just hired the fifth Dean of the Faculty I will have dealt with since I started. Each one has arrived with a whole new style of communication, set of standards, and agenda for change. My adaptability has waned considerably over the years, so I don't think I would be ready to cave in to a new set of rules and regulations. In fact, I would probably fight them tooth and nail.
I am officially tired. I still approach each 4-hour lecture class with the same approximate level of energy and expectation I always have. In fact, I approach them with far more confidence and comfort than I used to. However, at the end of those classes I sit down at my desk and truly do not want to get up. After a few minutes, when I do uncurl myself into a standing position, it is difficult and rather painful, leading to a series of loud groans. I don't mind this when I am getting up from the sofa at home, as there is usually nobody available to hear me. At school, however, the halls tend to echo.
My patience has begun to fade. I still try my very best to be accepting and non-judgmental with my students. However, I have found that no one person has enough relatives to account for the number of funerals some need to attend, and I will not dismiss a young female from class for the evening because she has broken a fingernail, or is having a bad hair day. If a student's cell phone rings in class, I will answer it, and try very hard to embarrass the individual for whom the call was intended as well as the caller.
I am getting less adept at fudging my way through administrative tasks. I have always hated grades, and did really do my best to grade fairly and equitably, but I think the process leaves a lot to be desired, and my school's new computerized grading system leaves little room for flexibility. It does not understand the awarding of an "A" to a student who tries incredibly hard, but is not as quantitatively successful as his or her peers. It also does not know what to do with grades entered for class participation levels, usually expressed as a plus, minus, or check sign. It will only accept numbers. One of my favorite classes to teach was Public Speaking, but I haven't a clue why one student should get an 86 on a speech, and another an 88. I know an "A" or "B" speech, however, when I see one.
There is a massive difference of opinion when it comes to classroom expectations between the owners and top administrators of a small private college and the teachers employed by them. Those who can do teach, and those who can't, administrate. Anyone who has been a teacher at any level has my permission to agree with this statement. I won't tell.
Yes, I will miss my students, but you must have noticed I didn't say I would stop teaching, just that I had retired from formal education. I have already signed myself up to teach a couple of classes at my town's local senior center, and am looking for other opportunities. I have four or five drawings on canvas and wooden objects that are thirsty for some paint, and my writing needs lots of exercise. So I may have retired from one type of classroom, but as for others? I'm just getting started.
Yes, I will miss my students terribly, but there are some very good reasons for me to separate from my place of employment for the last 16 years, for instance:
The school has just hired the fifth Dean of the Faculty I will have dealt with since I started. Each one has arrived with a whole new style of communication, set of standards, and agenda for change. My adaptability has waned considerably over the years, so I don't think I would be ready to cave in to a new set of rules and regulations. In fact, I would probably fight them tooth and nail.
I am officially tired. I still approach each 4-hour lecture class with the same approximate level of energy and expectation I always have. In fact, I approach them with far more confidence and comfort than I used to. However, at the end of those classes I sit down at my desk and truly do not want to get up. After a few minutes, when I do uncurl myself into a standing position, it is difficult and rather painful, leading to a series of loud groans. I don't mind this when I am getting up from the sofa at home, as there is usually nobody available to hear me. At school, however, the halls tend to echo.
My patience has begun to fade. I still try my very best to be accepting and non-judgmental with my students. However, I have found that no one person has enough relatives to account for the number of funerals some need to attend, and I will not dismiss a young female from class for the evening because she has broken a fingernail, or is having a bad hair day. If a student's cell phone rings in class, I will answer it, and try very hard to embarrass the individual for whom the call was intended as well as the caller.
I am getting less adept at fudging my way through administrative tasks. I have always hated grades, and did really do my best to grade fairly and equitably, but I think the process leaves a lot to be desired, and my school's new computerized grading system leaves little room for flexibility. It does not understand the awarding of an "A" to a student who tries incredibly hard, but is not as quantitatively successful as his or her peers. It also does not know what to do with grades entered for class participation levels, usually expressed as a plus, minus, or check sign. It will only accept numbers. One of my favorite classes to teach was Public Speaking, but I haven't a clue why one student should get an 86 on a speech, and another an 88. I know an "A" or "B" speech, however, when I see one.
There is a massive difference of opinion when it comes to classroom expectations between the owners and top administrators of a small private college and the teachers employed by them. Those who can do teach, and those who can't, administrate. Anyone who has been a teacher at any level has my permission to agree with this statement. I won't tell.
Yes, I will miss my students, but you must have noticed I didn't say I would stop teaching, just that I had retired from formal education. I have already signed myself up to teach a couple of classes at my town's local senior center, and am looking for other opportunities. I have four or five drawings on canvas and wooden objects that are thirsty for some paint, and my writing needs lots of exercise. So I may have retired from one type of classroom, but as for others? I'm just getting started.
Friday, June 10, 2011
So vacate, already!
Here I sit, on the final day of my vacation, dreading the packing I will have to do tonight and the unpacking I will have to do tomorrow. When people plan their vacations, do they ever think of making sure their car will not be filled to the exploding point? Do they consider the possibility of packing only a few necessary items, or is it a rule of some sort that the amount you pack has some bearing on the amount of fun you will have while away? I seriously doubt it, but I do it anyway.
Every year I sit down and carefully make lists, planning exactly what I will need in the way of clothing, linens, food, medications, et al. Every year I bring too much, but forget something, and have to rush to the grocery store/drug store/ clothing store to fill in the inevitable blanks. We rent houses when we go on vacation, so I have to account for the things that I consider necessary and the original homeowner couldn't care less about. Like food.
This year it was a kitchen colander, or a strainer, as I had to explain to the non-English speaking young lady who helped me find one. She had been trying to tell me where the calendars were in a store devoted completely to the display and sale of thousands of varieties of plastic crap. I also needed a cutting board and a pizza cutter. I have lots of those things at home, but my landlord evidently doesn't strain pasta, cut up meat, or bake his own pizza. I found all of the items, for under $4.00. This is considered a victory.
Of course, now I have to decide whether to bring the new kitchen stuff home with me, or leave them so another renter can either destroy or swipe them. I swear that's what happened to the stuff I bought last year.
However, if I decide to cart home the new utensils, then I have to find room in the car and my kitchen when I get them back to my house.
A classic story from my family of origin involves a married couple of local professors (my Dad was a college administrator) who were coming to visit us one summer during a short vacation, and who showed up a day late. Their explanation was simple. The diagram that the husband had developed to pack their station wagon had not been successful, so they had to unpack everything and develop a new diagram. I have yet to decide if this was a good idea or just very strange. My family used to pack for vacation by stuffing a bunch of things into a bunch of bags, then stuffing the bags into the car. With any luck there would be enough room left for three kids and a large dog.
One year we bought a detachable luggage rack and piled everything on top of the car. We were about 100 miles into our trip when my brother noticed a suitcase in the middle of the road we had just traveled. Then another, then a couple of blankets. He mentioned this to my father, and we screeched to a halt and ran back a few hundred yards, retrieving our mangled vacation supplies. My current car has a roof rack. I have never used it.
History aside, I will struggle tonight to fit everything into suitcases and bags, then struggle tomorrow to load it all in, and then unload it one more time and put it away in its proper place, or somewhere close. Next year I know I will plan better.
Every year I sit down and carefully make lists, planning exactly what I will need in the way of clothing, linens, food, medications, et al. Every year I bring too much, but forget something, and have to rush to the grocery store/drug store/ clothing store to fill in the inevitable blanks. We rent houses when we go on vacation, so I have to account for the things that I consider necessary and the original homeowner couldn't care less about. Like food.
This year it was a kitchen colander, or a strainer, as I had to explain to the non-English speaking young lady who helped me find one. She had been trying to tell me where the calendars were in a store devoted completely to the display and sale of thousands of varieties of plastic crap. I also needed a cutting board and a pizza cutter. I have lots of those things at home, but my landlord evidently doesn't strain pasta, cut up meat, or bake his own pizza. I found all of the items, for under $4.00. This is considered a victory.
Of course, now I have to decide whether to bring the new kitchen stuff home with me, or leave them so another renter can either destroy or swipe them. I swear that's what happened to the stuff I bought last year.
However, if I decide to cart home the new utensils, then I have to find room in the car and my kitchen when I get them back to my house.
A classic story from my family of origin involves a married couple of local professors (my Dad was a college administrator) who were coming to visit us one summer during a short vacation, and who showed up a day late. Their explanation was simple. The diagram that the husband had developed to pack their station wagon had not been successful, so they had to unpack everything and develop a new diagram. I have yet to decide if this was a good idea or just very strange. My family used to pack for vacation by stuffing a bunch of things into a bunch of bags, then stuffing the bags into the car. With any luck there would be enough room left for three kids and a large dog.
One year we bought a detachable luggage rack and piled everything on top of the car. We were about 100 miles into our trip when my brother noticed a suitcase in the middle of the road we had just traveled. Then another, then a couple of blankets. He mentioned this to my father, and we screeched to a halt and ran back a few hundred yards, retrieving our mangled vacation supplies. My current car has a roof rack. I have never used it.
History aside, I will struggle tonight to fit everything into suitcases and bags, then struggle tomorrow to load it all in, and then unload it one more time and put it away in its proper place, or somewhere close. Next year I know I will plan better.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Reason Glamour Magazine has Never Called
When I was born and raised, back in the 1950's and 1960's, women were supposed to be glamorous. In fact, my mother insisted that I spend a few miserable months in charm school somewhere in my early teens. I learned how to walk, how to speak without ever really expressing an opinion, how to tilt my pinky finger when drinking tea, and how to appear glamorous at all times. The only thing I remember from charm school was how to tell what fork to use first. The rest is a distant blur.
Maybe that is because I was never destined to be charming. It has taken me quite a few years to come to terms with this, but now that my 65th birthday is fast approaching, I can honestly say I don't give a rat's behind. There. Was that glamorous enough for you? It was for me. As I sit here in my jeans, sneakers and t-shirt in front of the computer, I am totally comfortable with my glamour-free status. Here is how I have arrived at that conclusion:
I am sitting in front of my computer with the air-conditioner going full tilt, and I am sweating like a pig. There is nothing delicate or feminine about the way I perspire. I am soaked, with drips leaking from my ears to my shoulders, and my face is a fully reflective surface. My hair is kinky and damp, and showing no visible signs of a style. Glamorous women somehow withstand excessive heat, with nothing better than a handkerchief to dab at their moist cheeks. I need a bath towel.
I am long enough past menopause to be sprouting a few testosterone-fueled and very dark hairs on my chin. Not enough to spend thousands on a laser treatment, but enough to pull out a razor every morning and get rid of them before I scratch someone while doling out a hug. They are in direct proportion to the long white hairs suddenly appearing in the middle of my eyebrows. I swear they grow in overnight, from nothing to an inch or two in length, and sticking straight out as opposed to up or sideways. The hair on my head, however, seems to be getting thinner with every haircut. None of this seems very glamorous to me.
Also, my waistline has disappeared. I was never one of those hourglass-shaped lovelies, but at least I could wear a belt without it disappearing between two distinct folds of pudginess. Now I cut the belt loops off of my coats and sweaters. Maybe folks will think it's the clothing that drapes without an indent, and not the body.
I can not wear high heels. I had a grand old time back in the 60's and the 70's with my platform shoes and 5-inch heels, but just looking at what is selling in shoe salons currently makes my arches ache. I have my wonderfully comfy sneakers, and three different colors of my favorite walking shoes. None of those colors is chartreuse. There are two pair of sandals I can wear, one flat and one with about a one-inch heel. Even that feels risky. My balance seems to have disappeared with my waistline. I used to walk like a model. Now it's more like a Model T.
Makeup does not work on this face. I spend far more than necessary at my local cosmetics counter, but my attempts to achieve a "smoky eye" look more like an eye that has been firmly punched. My rosy cheeks are more likely from rosacea than from the correct color of blush, and any attempts at contouring look like I'm preparing for a football game in bright sunlight. Mascara is out. It makes my eyes itch. And I was actually trained as a makeup artist.
At some point I thought over all of these facts, as well as a few more, and decided that being glamorous just wasn't in my cards. I had a few minutes in my twenties when I could turn heads by walking into a room, but now it's probably because I have tripped over something. I think my most important accomplishments have not been based on looking just so, but more on what directions I chose to look. I was lucky to discover early on that glamour was pretty boring stuff, and had very little impact on the human race as a whole.
It's not that I look forward to being a frump as I get older, but I sure look toward continuing to make one big positive dent after another in the lives around me. I can't always look in the mirror and like what I see, but I sure do like who I see.
Maybe that is because I was never destined to be charming. It has taken me quite a few years to come to terms with this, but now that my 65th birthday is fast approaching, I can honestly say I don't give a rat's behind. There. Was that glamorous enough for you? It was for me. As I sit here in my jeans, sneakers and t-shirt in front of the computer, I am totally comfortable with my glamour-free status. Here is how I have arrived at that conclusion:
I am sitting in front of my computer with the air-conditioner going full tilt, and I am sweating like a pig. There is nothing delicate or feminine about the way I perspire. I am soaked, with drips leaking from my ears to my shoulders, and my face is a fully reflective surface. My hair is kinky and damp, and showing no visible signs of a style. Glamorous women somehow withstand excessive heat, with nothing better than a handkerchief to dab at their moist cheeks. I need a bath towel.
I am long enough past menopause to be sprouting a few testosterone-fueled and very dark hairs on my chin. Not enough to spend thousands on a laser treatment, but enough to pull out a razor every morning and get rid of them before I scratch someone while doling out a hug. They are in direct proportion to the long white hairs suddenly appearing in the middle of my eyebrows. I swear they grow in overnight, from nothing to an inch or two in length, and sticking straight out as opposed to up or sideways. The hair on my head, however, seems to be getting thinner with every haircut. None of this seems very glamorous to me.
Also, my waistline has disappeared. I was never one of those hourglass-shaped lovelies, but at least I could wear a belt without it disappearing between two distinct folds of pudginess. Now I cut the belt loops off of my coats and sweaters. Maybe folks will think it's the clothing that drapes without an indent, and not the body.
I can not wear high heels. I had a grand old time back in the 60's and the 70's with my platform shoes and 5-inch heels, but just looking at what is selling in shoe salons currently makes my arches ache. I have my wonderfully comfy sneakers, and three different colors of my favorite walking shoes. None of those colors is chartreuse. There are two pair of sandals I can wear, one flat and one with about a one-inch heel. Even that feels risky. My balance seems to have disappeared with my waistline. I used to walk like a model. Now it's more like a Model T.
Makeup does not work on this face. I spend far more than necessary at my local cosmetics counter, but my attempts to achieve a "smoky eye" look more like an eye that has been firmly punched. My rosy cheeks are more likely from rosacea than from the correct color of blush, and any attempts at contouring look like I'm preparing for a football game in bright sunlight. Mascara is out. It makes my eyes itch. And I was actually trained as a makeup artist.
At some point I thought over all of these facts, as well as a few more, and decided that being glamorous just wasn't in my cards. I had a few minutes in my twenties when I could turn heads by walking into a room, but now it's probably because I have tripped over something. I think my most important accomplishments have not been based on looking just so, but more on what directions I chose to look. I was lucky to discover early on that glamour was pretty boring stuff, and had very little impact on the human race as a whole.
It's not that I look forward to being a frump as I get older, but I sure look toward continuing to make one big positive dent after another in the lives around me. I can't always look in the mirror and like what I see, but I sure do like who I see.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Out with the old? Not so fast!
I have recently received the same email from a number of friends and relatives, and feel the urge to respond with some thoughts of my own. The message was all about the things in our lives that we currently take for granted, and how they were most likely to become obsolete and even extinct. I can't say that I agree with all of the items on the list, though I do understand that the term "endangered species" might apply.
First of all is the Post Office. I understand that email has taken over the hand written letter. I still really like getting hand written letters. I get nice thank-you notes, formal invitations to events, and updates from friends and organizations I support. The post office is also the best and cheapest delivery form for packages. They cost about a third of what UPS charges to send stuff overseas, and their local delivery is much less expensive than the competition. I do hate the level of junk mail I regularly receive, but the recycled paper industry is doing well as a result. I see this cutting back, but not disappearing entirely.
Next is the check. Again, I do admit that I do 98% of my banking and bill paying online. However, when the local landscaper delivers a truckload of mulch to my back yard, I don't think she'd appreciate waiting for me to drive to the bank and get out enough cash to pay her. When my car gets fixed, it gets done extremely well by a local mechanic, who prefers not to accept credit cards. Again, he really appreciates that I can write him a check before he gives me back my car. And I really appreciate that I don't have to pay the 21% interest rate on a credit balance.
Third on the list is the newspaper. Have you read a newspaper online? It is a royal pain, the advertising gets in the way, and it is very hard to flip to the page with the article you were looking for. Until they get the interface right, I prefer my newspapers tossed on my lawn. They are also cheaper that way.
The book is going to disappear? Not likely. I do have a kindle, and I think it is terrific for reading books (primarily fiction) that I want to get through quickly and comfortably. However, my very favorite books are of art museum collections, Amish quilts, instructions in watercolors or Chinese brush painting, photographers displays, oil painting techniques, drawing workbooks, colored pencil illustrations, etc. There is no way these could be translated into screen-appropriate material, at least not without a considerable loss in color, context, or readers' joy.
The land-line telephone. I know lots of folks who do not have a land-line installed in their apartments. If it works for them, that's fine. It does not work for me. I live in an old neighborhood full of huge trees. These trees have a disturbing tendency to drop their limbs on electric lines. When we do not have power, and I have forgotten that my phone needs charging, I am up the proverbial creek. There have been times when our power has been out for two or more days. Use of the cell phone is those situations is great, but only until the charge runs out. Even the land-line portable phones don't work in those circumstances, so I am glad that on each floor we have a plugged into the wall, corded phone.
How anyone can think that music is going to disappear is beyond me. If all one listens to is the current pop fare (yuck!), maybe they would welcome the disappearance, but most of my friends and I prefer things like modern classical, jazz, esoteric rock, and other items that are continually growing and changing. Live music beats the daylights out of recordings, and if you look for really good music, you will find it thriving everywhere. If all you care to listen to is top 40, sorry!
As for the next item on the list, television, I have to assume this was written by someone who watches sitcoms and reality shows. When they go away, I will be celebrating. Well, okay, I do like "Big Bang Theory" and "So You Think You Can Dance", and am borderline addicted to "Project Runway." Notice that only one of those runs on one of the three major networks. Again I am far more likely to delve into cable fare, and I like to curl up on the sofa and watch, not on my computer screen, but on my TV. I like pay-per-view movies and the almost unlimited choices I have through my provider, and I do not want to watch anything on my cell phone!!!!
Possessions are the next to last expected to disappear. The loss of possessions listed in the email is almost exclusively in reference to computer gadgets, and I know people who love computer gadgets so much that they have way more than a reasonable share of possessions, just in that category. As for other things, we will still want kitchen appliances, furniture, art, clothing, air conditioners, candles, fuzzy towels and the occasional teddy bear. So much for possessions.
Finally the email bemoans the disappearance of personal privacy. As if this comes as a surprise to anyone. If you think you have privacy to lose, Google yourself. Also, I happen to live in a small town, where everybody knows everybody and watches out for them. Yeah, this is a loss of privacy, but I like knowing that if I have an emergency, there are 12 people ready to jump in and help. I don't know if I have ever had total privacy, nor that I would want it. People who are my friends like all of me, including the warts. Privacy may really mean loneliness.
Maybe I am just revealing my age, but I truly think things like books, music, newspapers and letters have a certain value that keeps them alive, even if it is in a small minority of the community. I am pleased if I am considered to be a part of that minority, and will continue my outdated habits that happily keep me there.
First of all is the Post Office. I understand that email has taken over the hand written letter. I still really like getting hand written letters. I get nice thank-you notes, formal invitations to events, and updates from friends and organizations I support. The post office is also the best and cheapest delivery form for packages. They cost about a third of what UPS charges to send stuff overseas, and their local delivery is much less expensive than the competition. I do hate the level of junk mail I regularly receive, but the recycled paper industry is doing well as a result. I see this cutting back, but not disappearing entirely.
Next is the check. Again, I do admit that I do 98% of my banking and bill paying online. However, when the local landscaper delivers a truckload of mulch to my back yard, I don't think she'd appreciate waiting for me to drive to the bank and get out enough cash to pay her. When my car gets fixed, it gets done extremely well by a local mechanic, who prefers not to accept credit cards. Again, he really appreciates that I can write him a check before he gives me back my car. And I really appreciate that I don't have to pay the 21% interest rate on a credit balance.
Third on the list is the newspaper. Have you read a newspaper online? It is a royal pain, the advertising gets in the way, and it is very hard to flip to the page with the article you were looking for. Until they get the interface right, I prefer my newspapers tossed on my lawn. They are also cheaper that way.
The book is going to disappear? Not likely. I do have a kindle, and I think it is terrific for reading books (primarily fiction) that I want to get through quickly and comfortably. However, my very favorite books are of art museum collections, Amish quilts, instructions in watercolors or Chinese brush painting, photographers displays, oil painting techniques, drawing workbooks, colored pencil illustrations, etc. There is no way these could be translated into screen-appropriate material, at least not without a considerable loss in color, context, or readers' joy.
The land-line telephone. I know lots of folks who do not have a land-line installed in their apartments. If it works for them, that's fine. It does not work for me. I live in an old neighborhood full of huge trees. These trees have a disturbing tendency to drop their limbs on electric lines. When we do not have power, and I have forgotten that my phone needs charging, I am up the proverbial creek. There have been times when our power has been out for two or more days. Use of the cell phone is those situations is great, but only until the charge runs out. Even the land-line portable phones don't work in those circumstances, so I am glad that on each floor we have a plugged into the wall, corded phone.
How anyone can think that music is going to disappear is beyond me. If all one listens to is the current pop fare (yuck!), maybe they would welcome the disappearance, but most of my friends and I prefer things like modern classical, jazz, esoteric rock, and other items that are continually growing and changing. Live music beats the daylights out of recordings, and if you look for really good music, you will find it thriving everywhere. If all you care to listen to is top 40, sorry!
As for the next item on the list, television, I have to assume this was written by someone who watches sitcoms and reality shows. When they go away, I will be celebrating. Well, okay, I do like "Big Bang Theory" and "So You Think You Can Dance", and am borderline addicted to "Project Runway." Notice that only one of those runs on one of the three major networks. Again I am far more likely to delve into cable fare, and I like to curl up on the sofa and watch, not on my computer screen, but on my TV. I like pay-per-view movies and the almost unlimited choices I have through my provider, and I do not want to watch anything on my cell phone!!!!
Possessions are the next to last expected to disappear. The loss of possessions listed in the email is almost exclusively in reference to computer gadgets, and I know people who love computer gadgets so much that they have way more than a reasonable share of possessions, just in that category. As for other things, we will still want kitchen appliances, furniture, art, clothing, air conditioners, candles, fuzzy towels and the occasional teddy bear. So much for possessions.
Finally the email bemoans the disappearance of personal privacy. As if this comes as a surprise to anyone. If you think you have privacy to lose, Google yourself. Also, I happen to live in a small town, where everybody knows everybody and watches out for them. Yeah, this is a loss of privacy, but I like knowing that if I have an emergency, there are 12 people ready to jump in and help. I don't know if I have ever had total privacy, nor that I would want it. People who are my friends like all of me, including the warts. Privacy may really mean loneliness.
Maybe I am just revealing my age, but I truly think things like books, music, newspapers and letters have a certain value that keeps them alive, even if it is in a small minority of the community. I am pleased if I am considered to be a part of that minority, and will continue my outdated habits that happily keep me there.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
New Movie with old, uncomfortable theme
I've started and stopped writing this about a dozen times in the last week or so, mostly because I wasn't sure of the direction it would take. Now, however, I find myself with some time and some clarity of thought, though the two do not always occur simultaneously, and the result will, I hope, make some sense.
A new movie has come out in the last week, and I will admit I honestly know nothing about it. I have not seen it, I have not read any reviews, and yet the theme of the film as I understand it is driving me absolutely nuts. It is the new version of "Red Riding Hood." It is one more film which, at its core, or at least the core of its most popular ads, has the combination of implied violence and sexuality firmly joined together. I thought we had put most of that behind us with the disappearance of the "Twilight" series, but no, we have one more growling, snarling beast and one more innocent maiden sent into a frenzy of sensuality at the touch of its steamy breath. Or at least that's the impression I get from the trailers that have been all over the TV for the past few days.
When the hell is Hollywood going to get the message that there is nothing even slightly sexy about violence directed at women?
With the advent of the Twilight movies and their bloodthirsty hero, emergency rooms all over this country found themselves dealing with ever-increasing numbers of young teens suffering from bite wounds. It seems that the young ladies, in particular, who were all soft and melting over Edward, were talking their boyfriends, or even sleepover buddies, into taking a good chomp to see if the passions would flow. The only thing flowing, sadly, turned out to be the supply of antibiotics needed to avoid serious infections.
What do you know - violent behavior, it turns out, really hurts!
All anyone has to do is ask a member of the female population if they have been the victim of violence, either verbal or physical. When you discover that an incredibly large number of them have, at some, point, been victimized, your next question should be "Gee, was it a turn-on?"
I can guarantee that, if you don't get asked to leave the area immediately, you will get a resounding "NO!" as your answer. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing, sexy about being belittled, humiliated, or battered. In case no one has read the expert opinions in law enforcement, let me fill you in with the facts regarding the ultimate in crimes against women, violent rape. In all of the psychological studies out there, it is not even considered to be about sex, but about power and the creation of helplessness.
It makes me heartsick to see the number of media outlets who still joke about these attacks, and state that "make-up sex" is the best sex of all. Soap operas, for example (and we all know how realistic they are), continually go out of their way to show intense fights between couples, followed by intense coupling. In reality, intense fights are usually followed by hospital visits or nights alone in a hotel or the car, as far away from the partner as one can get. Then they are followed by arrests and the issuance of orders of protection.
I guess the most important point I am trying to make is this: Somehow we continue to raise our daughters to believe that violent behavior is in some way proof that the boy (or man) in our lives really loves us. We are making an enormous mistake in supporting media stories that tie violence and sex together, and letting our girls think that Prince Charming is somehow related to the fire-breathing dragon.
As a long-ago victim of those beliefs, I would like to know when we are going to come to our senses and see these story lines as complete fiction, and not worthy of our attention.
A new movie has come out in the last week, and I will admit I honestly know nothing about it. I have not seen it, I have not read any reviews, and yet the theme of the film as I understand it is driving me absolutely nuts. It is the new version of "Red Riding Hood." It is one more film which, at its core, or at least the core of its most popular ads, has the combination of implied violence and sexuality firmly joined together. I thought we had put most of that behind us with the disappearance of the "Twilight" series, but no, we have one more growling, snarling beast and one more innocent maiden sent into a frenzy of sensuality at the touch of its steamy breath. Or at least that's the impression I get from the trailers that have been all over the TV for the past few days.
When the hell is Hollywood going to get the message that there is nothing even slightly sexy about violence directed at women?
With the advent of the Twilight movies and their bloodthirsty hero, emergency rooms all over this country found themselves dealing with ever-increasing numbers of young teens suffering from bite wounds. It seems that the young ladies, in particular, who were all soft and melting over Edward, were talking their boyfriends, or even sleepover buddies, into taking a good chomp to see if the passions would flow. The only thing flowing, sadly, turned out to be the supply of antibiotics needed to avoid serious infections.
What do you know - violent behavior, it turns out, really hurts!
All anyone has to do is ask a member of the female population if they have been the victim of violence, either verbal or physical. When you discover that an incredibly large number of them have, at some, point, been victimized, your next question should be "Gee, was it a turn-on?"
I can guarantee that, if you don't get asked to leave the area immediately, you will get a resounding "NO!" as your answer. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing, sexy about being belittled, humiliated, or battered. In case no one has read the expert opinions in law enforcement, let me fill you in with the facts regarding the ultimate in crimes against women, violent rape. In all of the psychological studies out there, it is not even considered to be about sex, but about power and the creation of helplessness.
It makes me heartsick to see the number of media outlets who still joke about these attacks, and state that "make-up sex" is the best sex of all. Soap operas, for example (and we all know how realistic they are), continually go out of their way to show intense fights between couples, followed by intense coupling. In reality, intense fights are usually followed by hospital visits or nights alone in a hotel or the car, as far away from the partner as one can get. Then they are followed by arrests and the issuance of orders of protection.
I guess the most important point I am trying to make is this: Somehow we continue to raise our daughters to believe that violent behavior is in some way proof that the boy (or man) in our lives really loves us. We are making an enormous mistake in supporting media stories that tie violence and sex together, and letting our girls think that Prince Charming is somehow related to the fire-breathing dragon.
As a long-ago victim of those beliefs, I would like to know when we are going to come to our senses and see these story lines as complete fiction, and not worthy of our attention.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Now I've gone and lost my temper...
I have officially had it with the new governor of Pennsylvania, and he's only been in office for a few weeks. He's right up there with a couple of other governors you may have heard about lately. The new budget is out, and what's the first thing he has cut? EDUCATION! At the K-12 level, he has slashed a huge amount of each districts' annual income from the state, and in our fair city of Philadelphia, he has, among other cuts, dropped all funding for kindergarten. This in a school district that has close to a 50% dropout rate, and that has too many of its classrooms trying to function with no textbooks, no computers, no A/V equipment. Arts and music curricula will no doubt have to be eliminated, as will after-school activities. All the added latch-key kids will have the dear governor to thank for their time at home alone.
I'm waiting for the discussion of vouchers to show up. That will no doubt be one of the next steps. Because, after all, a $1,000 voucher will do ever so much good in helping local families send their children to private school. The last time I had to come up with private school tuition, which was in 1995, the cost was $12,000 per year per child. Would those who keep suggesting this idiotic "solution" please tell me where families are going to find the other $11,000? I know how we paid tuition: we re-mortgaged our house, drove cars with 150,000 miles on them, and furnished the living room with second-hand furniture at a total cost of $73.08. That doesn't count the rugs, which I trash-picked.
As for the college-age folks, they are also getting royally screwed. The budget has taken 50% out of the money for state colleges, like Penn State and Temple University. That means a tuition hike of around 20% for students who already are scraping the bottom of their families' financial barrels. I have to wonder how many perspective students will just give up trying to afford their dreams of a good college education.
Oh, and by the way, our new governor has firmly stated that there will be no corporate taxes for the natural gas drillers or other huge commercial ventures. That's okay, they'll probably go out of business eventually because they won't find any educated engineers, project managers, accountants, office managers, or administrators. His rationale is that he doesn't want them moving to other states to do business. Duh. How does he suggest they move the natural gas deposits to take them along? Maybe he's being advised by someone who went to a high school with cost-cutting firmly in place. Yeah, the one with no books and no after-school science club.
I have a suggestion for the political mavens of our fair state. The next time you go out looking for a candidate for office, put on your list of requirements the following: The individual will not have made any more than $50,000 per year for any of the previous ten years. That way you will get people running for office who really understand the kind of life most of us are living. Most of the state's residents are hard-working, middle class families who are struggling to put food on the table, gas in the car, and tuition payments in the bank. For the vast majority of these families, their best shot at an educated child is a good, well-equipped public school system. It has just been proposed that the chance every child deserves will be gutted.
Oh, and for those who think teachers are overpaid? I dare them to spend one week in the classroom. I have been a teacher for the last 19 years, and it is the toughest job you can imagine. That is, if you really care about educating your students, and most of the teachers I have known really do care. They take money out of their own pockets to equip their classrooms, make sure their students are well-fed and sometimes even warmly clothed. All of their time "off" is spent taking courses, correcting papers, developing classroom activities, reading possible textbooks, and finding ways to improve their own classroom performance. Anyone who has been in the trenches at any level, whether K-12 or college, can only react with horror and dismay at finding out that once again, the budget axe has fallen squarely on their shoulders. When the hell are we going to stop short-changing our young people and start making those who can afford it pay a bit more for all of our futures?
Dear Mr. Governor, you can't possibly have gotten it more wrong.
I'm waiting for the discussion of vouchers to show up. That will no doubt be one of the next steps. Because, after all, a $1,000 voucher will do ever so much good in helping local families send their children to private school. The last time I had to come up with private school tuition, which was in 1995, the cost was $12,000 per year per child. Would those who keep suggesting this idiotic "solution" please tell me where families are going to find the other $11,000? I know how we paid tuition: we re-mortgaged our house, drove cars with 150,000 miles on them, and furnished the living room with second-hand furniture at a total cost of $73.08. That doesn't count the rugs, which I trash-picked.
As for the college-age folks, they are also getting royally screwed. The budget has taken 50% out of the money for state colleges, like Penn State and Temple University. That means a tuition hike of around 20% for students who already are scraping the bottom of their families' financial barrels. I have to wonder how many perspective students will just give up trying to afford their dreams of a good college education.
Oh, and by the way, our new governor has firmly stated that there will be no corporate taxes for the natural gas drillers or other huge commercial ventures. That's okay, they'll probably go out of business eventually because they won't find any educated engineers, project managers, accountants, office managers, or administrators. His rationale is that he doesn't want them moving to other states to do business. Duh. How does he suggest they move the natural gas deposits to take them along? Maybe he's being advised by someone who went to a high school with cost-cutting firmly in place. Yeah, the one with no books and no after-school science club.
I have a suggestion for the political mavens of our fair state. The next time you go out looking for a candidate for office, put on your list of requirements the following: The individual will not have made any more than $50,000 per year for any of the previous ten years. That way you will get people running for office who really understand the kind of life most of us are living. Most of the state's residents are hard-working, middle class families who are struggling to put food on the table, gas in the car, and tuition payments in the bank. For the vast majority of these families, their best shot at an educated child is a good, well-equipped public school system. It has just been proposed that the chance every child deserves will be gutted.
Oh, and for those who think teachers are overpaid? I dare them to spend one week in the classroom. I have been a teacher for the last 19 years, and it is the toughest job you can imagine. That is, if you really care about educating your students, and most of the teachers I have known really do care. They take money out of their own pockets to equip their classrooms, make sure their students are well-fed and sometimes even warmly clothed. All of their time "off" is spent taking courses, correcting papers, developing classroom activities, reading possible textbooks, and finding ways to improve their own classroom performance. Anyone who has been in the trenches at any level, whether K-12 or college, can only react with horror and dismay at finding out that once again, the budget axe has fallen squarely on their shoulders. When the hell are we going to stop short-changing our young people and start making those who can afford it pay a bit more for all of our futures?
Dear Mr. Governor, you can't possibly have gotten it more wrong.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
